From Dusk Till Zombie
by andy boi
Summary: A crossover that has its funny points.read and review please.Tank you vedy much


From Dusk Till Zombie  
Written By:Eric Montierth,or Andi Boy  
Email:Spike06872@aol.com  
Comments,flames,reviews,pipe bombs,send um all.I dont own From Dusk Till Dawn or Resident Evil.And for those wondering,this is from all 3 FDTD movies.Enjoy.One last thing,I dont remember all the chars in FDTD names.So for Seans brothers names is Greg,and the main guy in number 2 is cliff,and I'll make names for Jhonnys gang.  
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Chris,Jill,Joseph,Barry,Brad and even Wesker all loaded up their stuff into a big RV.They were on their way to Mexico for the week.But Wesker wanted them to stop at a weird bar called the Titty Twister.He said for only a couple hours.So they did,and they all hopped in and drove off.(the end,just kidding)  
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Sean and Greg Gecko had just robbed a liquor store which eneded by putting it up in fire.Sean scolded Greg as they stopped at a hotel.Sean left for a couple hours,came back,and shit had happened.He nearly kicked his brothers ass for the events.  
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Cliff,J.C,Jesus,Luthor and Ray Bob hopped into a car and drove off.They were heading to the Titty Twister for some drinks and girls.Somewhere along the line Jesus stopped the car and kicked Ray Bob out of the car.Then they drove off.  
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Jhonny and his gang wandered the desert on their horses for several hours.Jhonny had made a bare escape from the hangman.Ricky was being a bitch about the fact that Jhonny was leading again.Jhon looked at rick"How the hell you still alive,didnt I shoot you in the head twice no less then 4 hours ago"Rick looked away"Yeah but....I didnt want to get blood over my nice new cowboy boots.Arent they just super?!"Suddenly 12 guns were pointed at ricky and fired continually.Then they rode off extra fast.  
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The RV pulled up to the titty twister bar.They walked out of the RV.Chris had a glock 7 strapped to his leg.Berry had a M66 strapped to his pack and his Colt Python in his hand.Jill and Joseph had shotguns strapped to their back.Brad had a combat knife since hes always getting picked on in fanfics.  
(Brad:what??how come I dont get a handgun atleast  
(Writer:Becuase,more important people need guns,like Wesker!!  
Wesker had 5 shotguns,two magnums,and 20 handguns in his backpack.He also had a can of insta-tyrant on his leg.For once,Barry was out dicked-I mean out gunned.They walked into the bar slowly.Wesker put on his trade mark BAD ASS!!!! sunglasses(available at Wesker-is-us clothes department)Chris walked to the table they were sitting at,with 12 bottles of Vodka.Barry was polishing something Joseph noticed.But his Colt and rocket launcher were on the table.Joseph relaized really quick and threw up.Jill jumped into Josephs lap and frenched him before hopping back into her chair.Once again,Joseph threw up.  
  
"Uck,this place is nasty,I've thrown up twice"Wesker didnt care.He was to busy looking at the nude dancing zombie.A girl stood up on stage.'Entroducing our new dancer,Jill Valentine"Sean and Greg walked into the bar.They each had a m16-A2 strapped to thier backs.They took a seat in the table next to the RE group.Jill started to dance nude on the stage.Which caused Joseph to fill a keg with vomit.Suddenly,two zombies jumped on her and began to make their feast.Chris looked at Wesker"Shouldnt we help her?"Wesker laughed"No,one keg of Josephs vomit is enough"Joseph started clapping for the zombies actions."Kick ass boys!!!"  
  
The doors opened again.Cliff,Jesus,Luthor and J.C walked in.Each one of them had a colt 45. with them.They took the table infront of the RE crew.They watched as the zombies ate Jilly,then they looked behind them and saw a man with a shotgun cheering.Then they saw a keg of vomit and put 8737493 and 2 together.Ray Bob walked in.He sat in the chair next to Jesus.All Ray Bob had for weaponry was a plastic combat knife.Suddenly,the bartender stood up on stage."Is there any man in here willing to take on something extra strong"Jesus raised his hand and went up on stage.The T-300 walkd up to him.  
  
With a swift movement Jesus pulled out his trusty knife and cut off the T-300s arms.He put his knife away and picked up one of the arms.He began to beat the thing over its head with its arm.As a final act of death,Jesus head butted the T-300.A metal pole went through his head as he sat down at the table he was at before."Uh Jesus?"Ray Bob asked.Jesus turned his head,hitting everybody at the table with the pole,knocking Ray Bob out.JC pulled the pole out of Jesus head.The wound magically healed.  
  
The zombies had finished with their Valantine meal.Suddenly,a group of 11 men walked in,each one had a m37 shotgun on their back and 357. magnums in their hands.They sat in the table infront of the FDTD 1 crew.Suddenly,the door closed and locked.Some metal bars appeared infront of it.It was to dark to see anything.The sound of a table breaking over someones head was heard.The lights came back on.The bartender had a table busted over his head.Jesus stood there drinking a bottle of JD.He then walked back to his table and sat down.  
  
Some errie music started to play.A lady with a nake wrapped around her neck walked out from behind the curtains.Loud claps could be heard.Her skin started to change colors.Eventually,it turned rotten and smelly.The tender,and the 59 dancers turned into zombies.They quickly eliminated 7 of Jhons gang.They split the groups up.Brad screamed and ran around,flailing his arms in the air.He bumped into the knocked out Ray Bob.Suddenly,12 zombies jumpef on Brad.Before they killed him,they did something brutal.They made him watch telitubbies.  
  
Somehow Joseph and Jesus(they look so alike) had got paired together.Joey released another blast from his shotgun.It blew the tender into a table which broke under his back."Table Crashing time,boy"The tender said.Jesus shoved his 45. into the zombies mouth"When you dine out,you pay the bill"He pulled the trigger,blwoing the tenders brains into mush.Two more zombies approached them.Then the unexpectted happened.Jaws 2 who had become a zombie dog ran into the bar.He began to hump the dancers legs.They ran around flailing their arms."Good Jaws,knew putting you on steroids and that treadmell would pay off"  
  
Wesker wasnt scared at all.He undid the can of Insta-tyrant.He sprayed just a little which made a tyrant like in the first RE.Wesker sat down in his chair,as his tyrant protected him.  
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The battle was ferocious.Now all that remained was all of the RE crew but Brad and Jill.Sean Gecko(Greg died the way he did in the movie).Jesus,Luthor and Cliff.Jhon and Norman.That was it.They had cleared out the bar of zombies.Wesker was missing somewhere with his tyrant.They heard a loud amount of scuttling on the floor."Rats!!!!They'll morph into zombies within a minute.They barricaded themselves inside a room.All accept Cliff.He was hiding behind the bar.He stood up and was ambushed by the zombies.He never made it.  
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"Ok.What works on zombies.Shit that works on vampires dosnt work on zombies.SO,anybody who has been in this bar before forget what happened before.We'll leave it to the people who dealt with zombies before."Sean spoke."I suggest,we escape through these underground tunnels"Said Chris.They all nodded and began.Within the hour,the room they were in before was invaded by thousnads of zombies.  
  
They stomped down the murkey tunnels.They reached a dead end room.A giant cobra with hands appeared.In his hand was a picture of Tinky Winky.Nobody could aim at him becuase of the picture.They needed Wesker,and fast.  
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Wesker made 4 more tyrants before his can ran out.He threw it down and pulled out a magnum.He heard his friends scream for help.They started down the halls,the tyrants killing zombies who got in the way.Wesker reached the sewers.The tyrants disappeared,obviously out of power from the spray can.He slowly walked down the tunnels,coming behind the cobra.He fired the magnum,blowing the snakes head off.The head regenerated as it turned around.It flased the picture of Tinky Winky to him.Wesker thought his sunglasses would protect him,he was wrong.Jesus undid his snap action knife and shanked the cobra several thousand times.He picked up a table that magically appeared and broke it over the cobras skull.They were safe once more.  
  
They started down the tunnels again.A zombie grabbed Jhonny and Norman,dropping them face first into pictures of the 4 telitubbies,The two were vaporized on eye contact.Luthor got flashed by the purple telitubbie.He died.Now all who was left was Chris,Barry,Joseph,Sean and Jesus.12 zombies approached them."Fire!!"Barry shouted,shooting semen filled bullets at the zombies.The yellow telitubbie grabbed him.Barry got vaporized.Chris tried to stop it but to no avail,he was killed.Joseph slung his shotgun over his shoulder and pulled the trigger.The telitubbie died.The zombies died as well as the 3 continued down the murky tunnel.The red telitubbie and the green one walked out from behind a stone pillar.They were greeted by a cold hard clip from a M-16.They died as Sean reloaded.  
  
Down the tunnel a little more.They saw daylight,and their final confritation.The purple telitubbie.Sean aimed his m16 but got killed quickly by the purple telitubbies death flash.Jesus shot it in its right eye with his handgun as Joseph finished it with the shotgun.They walked into the sunlight and breathed freely.'Hey jesus,im gonna show you a good time"Joseph said in a happy mood"How?"Jesus asked.'Im gonna take you to...................Racoon City"  
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To be continued? 


End file.
